So. Today was a good day as was yesterday. I am working to improve myself and a very important aspect of that is my relationship with both my husband and my son. Today I told my son I was irritated with him. He replied with the statement that it seems I am always irritated with him. Last week, my husband told me that he felt that I was often irritated with him.
Ugh! I am! I am easily irritated with them, I have little to no patience and I am rude and intolerant. I love both of them and don't want to feel like this nor do I want them to feel my irritation and frustrations. I must let them go. I am such a control freak-trying to make everything work just right. I am too wound up and uptight with them. I good number of things that they do or don't do - or the way that they do things are SO annoying! Really, probably it's not this bad no one else notices. They are sweet, loving and wonderful.
I don't know why I am like this. I will let this go and change this horrible habit and communication pattern. I didn't yell today so that is the first step. My next step is to slow myself down - allow natural consequences to occur for them and myself without the push for perfection. More positive thoughts, prayer, focus on improving and building a new response. It's ok if it is not how I envisioned it to be, if it's not my way. I think I need to be more accepting. Maybe focus on the effort and adjust my obviously unreasonable expecations. I need to start most things sooner and to be ok with sloppy or slow, not perfect moments. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!!!!!
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