When you are a teen it seems that life moments are divided between boring and intense. There is very little grey. Also, when you're a teen, it seems that you vacillate between thinking you know everything and can take on anyone and an opinion that you are worthless and no one likes you and maybe no one ever will.
I remember thinking all these things, but now that I'm grown, I mostly remember thinking that I was pretty damn cool and to hell with everyone else! This was based in a defiance and the desire to challenge the thinking of other people. Now, I think I'm pretty damn cool, but I don't really want people to go to hell if they don't think so. I'm much more relaxed. It's ok if you think I'm a weirdo or goofball, I really don't care and this time I actually really don't care - the defiance is gone. I'm not defiant about myself. It'd be cool if you like me, but, if you don't, I'm not going to worry or fret. I am now, as always, trying to be introspective and self aware. I did once upon a time think that this would end when I grew up- How silly! Much less angst and anxiety, adolescence is long gone!
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