pondering randomly…

Well, what other type of pondering is there?  Yep, I randomly ponder stuff every day.  Not always exciting, but full of thoughts, that’s me!  I have been pondering things that I miss lately…

1.  I miss driving south each morning. The sun coming up and making the dew sparkle on the grass was a beautiful way to greet the day.  I miss my favorite trees along the way.  I also miss crossing the river each morning.  Gorgeous.  I’m anticipating missing my eagles.  Hope there will be some along the lake.

2.  I miss Marek time each day after school.  Football has filled his afternoon and stolen the afternoon walks, talks and bike rides.  I have enjoyed doing all of these things on my own and with friends but miss the time with my boy.  Happily, football will be over soon.  At least once a week or so we will soon have time to wander together.

3.  I miss my brother living closer.  Weird, he has lived far away for a long time.  Also, he really isn’t someone I would hang out with on an extended or frequent basis but… I would LOVE to see him in person more frequently.  He is a good guy with much to share.  He is smart and insightful and if we could hang out in person more often I would like it very much.

4.  I miss my little boy.  Marek is growing so much.  He is a teenager – well almost.  He is a great son and I love where he is now but I do miss him being a little one.  Full of wonder, no sarcasm, less drama, less arguing….

Not just missing things but wishing …

1.  I wish that I was more patient, more forgiving, more relaxed. 

2.  I wish that we had more money than we needed.  Not for things but just so that we could have no worries about the ends meeting…so that we could share with those who need…

3.  I wish that I had all the free time in the world to go and do all the wonderful things I wish for…

4.  I wish I could improve all the problems in my family, in our town, in our county, in our state, in our world… through service, through prayer, through voice and action.

5.  I wish that I could make almost everything better – not perfect, just better. 

6.  I wish I was loving my job…

OK!  Well, thanks for listening to my whining.  I think I will count this as the little break I needed and kick my own bass right now!  (Yes, I did say bass.  Trying not to cuss and I like saying kick my bass!)  I will ponder thankfulness tomorrow, and the next day and the next!!  Yep, that’s the plan!  I guess it is good to have a plan.  I am going to focus on the things I appreciate and love about my life and stop dwelling on the things I am missing…. what do you do when you ponder missing and wishing for other things? 

~ Denise