Lately I have been pondering the loss of deep thinking in my life.
I mean, sometimes I think deep thoughts but usually, I’m just subsistence thinking. What needs to be done, when do I need to be there and other deep daily living questions. I think about my job and Marcus’ job. Health insurance. Filling the car with gas. Do I need to go to the store, what do we need to buy there? What is Marek’s blood sugar? Do we have enough money to pay all of the bills? Did someone mow the lawn? I grow fresh dill so that the swallowtail larvae will visit my garden! Clean the house, unload the dishwasher, make more coffee!
Where did I leave…. well, you get the picture. These are the most significant thoughts that I have each day since they are the ones that significantly impact each day I guess that I am, and that I have been for awhile, at the time in my life that most of my time and energy is spent getting through each day or each week. There are many positive thoughts and ideas in each day. Mostly this is ok, and I guess, if it weren’t that would just be too bad! I do think future thoughts about my life, our family and Marek, I just can’t spare much energy on the wider world and giant global issues. Don’t get me wrong, we recycle, donate money and I volunteer several different places but I can’t get all hot and reactionary about politics big or small. When I was younger, I spent much time dedicated to other more worldly issues. I assume that there will come a time in my future that I will return to that. Mostly, I relish the time I spend thinking of essentially nothing; enjoying the beauty that surrounds me or the people I’m with at the time. It is a break not to ponder each day's difficulty. I guess that I’m living in the moment or at least the week or month.
Love the one you’re with – surely they meant the life time moments each and every boring and trivial daily moment! Hope you are loving your life moments!
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